Her

The Fairer SeXX

The below is an excerpt from my book. Please do not re-use or re-post or redistribute without my explicit written consent.

Women love men. Let’s not pretend for a second that this is not a fact. We love them because they are equal parts captivating, intoxicating, gorgeous and completely, deliriously frustrating. Regardless of how much we complain, we will always love them in all of their sweaty, broad backed beauty. So now that’s out of the way i’m going to move away from discussing men…Okay?

I just wanted to remind you of the myriad of reasons for embracing the fairer seXX, the double x chromosome and the very mirror image of your femininity reflected by your fellow girlfriends. Below are just some of the reasons that spending time with women should be high on your list of priorities..

The Perks of Kickin’ it with the Ladies

  • You can take as long as you want to get ready. Most women understand that getting ready is not so much a task but a process that we enjoy. What really only needs to take 20 minutes can be stretched to 3 hours with the enjoyment of champagne, assorted moisturising lotions and oodles of clothing and make up.
  •  On the other hand, when you are having a fail of a day and getting ready is a fucking disaster; nothing looks right, your hair is sticking up on end and a guy is waiting for you it’s nothing short of diabolical. Even if they are calm and patient…it makes you more stressed! And feeling uncomfortable in what you’re wearing is enough to make you fiddle and feel flat for the rest of the day. Men are always better subtracted from this equation.
  •  Women don’t need to eat all the time and when we do eat, nobody questions you if you just want a salad, coffee or bunch of Edamame beans. Because so what if I’m trying to lose weight and maybe I don’t really need to but I want to be a size 4 anyway. Only chicks get that.
  • Women understand that we are all constantly engaged in a game of observation. They’re perceptively tuned into the same visual triggers and will know inherently what will capture the attention of their best friend. This means that a good female friend is always casually perving on the right boy, inspecting the same pair of shoes or gawking at the right bad haircut so that they can converse about it 10 metres or 2 minutes later. Men just don’t seem to understand. They call it superficial, unnecessary or are just downright oblivious to it.
  •  Women remember things. It’s actually remarkable. Most women have such an amazing capacity to remember lists of all the rival girls that upset you, the boys that you may potentially have a crush on, your creepy boss along with your favourite nail polish, lipstick colour and shoe size. Men rarely remember that shit which often means conversations take a bit more work.
  • You can wear strange outfits like fur vests and leather pants or red lipstick and sequinned culottes and chicks just dig it. Men hate that sort of stuff, or are very confused by it.
  • Women understand each others odd mental and emotional eccentricities and don’t think you’re unhinged for mentioning them. This extends to the girls on Instagram that you want to look like, your refracted jealousy, your nervousness around certain types of people that is pretty much unwarranted, your default love of stripes…

Name it, we’ll get it.

This level of connectivity and seamlessness in communicating and understanding each other should be cherished and not abandoned.

Don’t make the mistake of ditching all of the rad girls out there for men, because, sometimes women really are the fairer sex.

Yours in the XX,

JLM

Posted by    |   February 22nd, 2016   |   No Comments

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