When you reach a certain age and you’re single, or not yet married, or with child, or large property with white fencing, third parties mysteriously become wildly curious about what you’re doing with your life. If you’re an athlete, model, entrepreneur or criminal then you’re generally excused but otherwise you’re perfect fodder for the prejudiced finger pointing, hushed discussions and the assumption that you might be growing scales under your clothes. With this added pressure from meddling external parties the announcement from just one more of your seamlessly successful, loved up friends about their new business, engagement, baby or house purchasing could be enough to tip you over the edge and into a full scale Bridget Jones meltdown, complete with drunken vodka renditions of “allllll by myselffffff”. So, what do you do? How do you feel and are you even allowed to feel like this? Is it okay to be jealous?
First of all, jealousy is natural and fairly normal. It’s also a ruthless motherfucker. Unless you’re a higher being of sorts (then gracias for stopping by to read my quite un-zen articles) jealousy is the completely human and quite uncomfortable burning sensation that turns up unannounced and intermittently without much warning and usually wreaks havoc on your life.
Secondly, you’re not a bad person for experiencing jealousy, nor do you need to internally berate yourself for feeling weird, or not quite okay. Jealousy is one of the most pervasive, yet infrequently explored emotions of humanity and it’s also a catalyst for many a snap action or reaction.
– You choose the immature route and astutely ignore the news for as long as possible, ipso facto ignoring the friend(s).
– You allow your reaction to unwind naturally; over several bottles of wine/blocks of chocolate.
– You use it as a perfect excuse to exercise your masochistic tendencies and ask everyone you know why they think you’re single and if you’ll die alone.
– You dive back into Tinder or kamikaze dating (dating with a stringent, relentless agenda).
If you know that you’re a little tender when it comes to milestones of the heart then reacting in a sophisticated way is just as much an exercise in self love and understanding as it is in adulting. Here’s how: