Signs You’ve Found A Unicorn Amongst Men

If you haven’t seen the brief clip on youtube called the ‘Crazy-Hot Matrix’ that ranks women on a graph based on their hotness compared with their level of ‘crazy’ then do that now here. In summary, hot girls are usually crazy, therefore a hot, intelligent and relatively normal girl is like a unicorn – a mythical beast with strawberry flavoured nipples, the body of barbie, a glitter tail and high propensity for domesticity.

Trying to plot men on a simular graph doesn’t allow for such a consistent result; sometimes the less attractive the more crazy they are but often the more attractive, the less substance; unless of course, they’re a fucking unicorn. See – same concept. Go choke on your sliding scale guys.

So, just for the fact that a man has plotted women on a scale of attractiveness vs sanity I’m going to write yet another checklist of qualities that every male should have to validate his existence as a potential romantic suitor of the knighthood kind.

  • He’s kind to his mum. Call it old fashioned, but to me, the way a man treats his mum is indicative of his respect for women, and how, in years to come he’s likely to treat you. Observing the relationship between a man and his mother is a powerful dose of truth serum and insight into his character.
  • He has (a) passion and ambition. His mind is always ticking over thinking about his next project or how to better an element of his life. That very ambition sets his heart on fire in the reckless pursuit of passion; daily and relentlessly.
  • He prioritises actions over words. He doesn’t promise what he can’t deliver. He won’t speak without intent to act, and, his actions clarify his intentions and demonstrate his feelings.
  • He doesn’t hate books. This is less about him being a bookworm and more about the fact that he’s open to learning. About anything. Wanting to learn shows intellectual maturity, tolerance, adaptability and an inherent inquisitiveness about life.
  • He has a positive energy and people like being in his presence. Moreover, his energy resonates harmoniously with your own.
  • He knows what he wants and is open and honest about it.  This means he can talk about the future without breaking out in a stress rash and isn’t afraid of commitment beyond a phone contract.
  • He puts his own personal spin on romance. From bringing you coffee, to leaving you handwritten notes to sending you a surprise bunch of flowers on your least favourite day of the week or dropping off flavoured popcorn to you when you’re unwell, he is always romantic in his own way.  At the heart of romance is attentiveness and he’s never afraid to be transparent in his knowledge of the very essence of you.
  • When you’re with him it’s always an adventure. You always have fun together; whether its travelling, doing the groceries, getting stuck in traffic or going to obligatory events it’s always an adventure.
  • He picks you up when you’re down, and will always look after you. Women may be natural nurturers but this is why it’s so important that they receive care too. It may not be easy, it’s definitely not pretty but it’s also a non negotiable for any serious relationship.
  • He doesn’t play games. He doesn’t flirt with girls to make you jealous, is understanding when you get all weird about his female colleague asking him to ‘hang out’, or calling him hot and doesn’t purposely avoid your texts or calls.
  • He wants to see you. Yes he juggles a busy life; work, seeing mates, walking the dog, sculpting muscles and tinkering with an eclectic bag of hobbies but he actually wants to see you and he makes it happen.
  • He’s your number one fan. Whether its encouraging you into asking for a pay rise, never allowing anyone to speak poorly of you, taking you to the gym when you say you want to lose weight (even when you complain mercifully) helping you pursue your passions or just liking every damn silly thing you post on Instagram he’s always got your back, even behind your back.
  • He keeps you grounded.  He makes you stop and reconsider buying a vintage Chanel for $3800, listens to your mildly insane insecurities and gently nudges you back into the land of reality without being patronising and makes casual fun of your military style daily routine and bed time rules.
  • He allows you to be yourself. No matter how neurotic, crazy or wild you can be. He’ll watch you unravel in all your mysterious magic, shake his head and simply say, with pure unadulterated bliss, ‘I love her’ as he smiles even wider.

The unicorn isn’t just a myth…

Yours in hot craziness,

JLM xx

N.B This article is inspired by a similarly themed on called Mr. Simple published on The Vault Online

Posted by    |   June 11th, 2016   |   No Comments

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