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The Ladies Man

I love a ladies man, mostly because I no longer have to deal with them on the reg and because they’re fun to psychoanalyse. Unfortunately The Ladies Man; aka The Rake, Stud, Bachelor, Pants Man, Panty Dropper, Player or Pimp is well known for presenting a serious heart hazard for many a woman.

If it’s love you’re after then I strongly advise you resist the charming allure of this particular creature, point blank. But if you’re really attached to your masochistic streak then here’s some key things to remember about the common ladies man:

  • Never forget that he’s a panty dropper – most of the time pants men are identified longggggggggg before you get involved with them. Usually a friend or innocent bystander, maybe a friendly cat that talks will warn you of their bed habits. Sometimes this fact heightens their appeal (which also throws you into the realm of self harmer). If you foolishly disregard all of these red flags, don’t go conveniently forgetting that he’s whittling away his bed post. EVER. Just because he’s sent you 3 texts in a row or made you pancakes for breakky, it does not indicate that the tectonic plates of the earth have shifted and plucked him from his ruthlessly self-centred promiscuity. Remind yourself constantly that he’s a PLAYA 4 LYF. Write it on a post it and stick it to your fridge, your head or your bedroom door, just never forget it.
  • Guilty until proven innocent – if you feel yourself starting to fall for a pants man he’s not changing, you’re just falling under his spell. A ladies man stays labelled that way until he proves otherwise.
  • Don’t be fooled – Rakish men come in ALL shapes, sizes and colours. Just because he’s thin, ugly, fat, short, feminine, stupid, a geek or a mummy’s boy doesn’t mean that he’s unable to charm you and abandon you just as quickly. Lord Byron, one of history’s greatest and most notorious ladies’ men was extremely poor, had a club foot and was accused for both adultery and incest. That didn’t stop multiple women falling head over heels for him and, complying with his outlandish sexual requests. I rest my case.
  • Play the game – If you do choose to pursue a ladies man you need to recognise that there’s a game being played, and therefore if you want to come out on top (and not with your beating heart squished under his foot) you should play too. Yes, it’s childish to play games, but you’re also more than likely dealing with an overgrown toddler so you need to relent, steal all of his tonka trucks and win.
  • Ice Queen demeanor– At all times aim for suave nonchalance. Not unlike rabid dogs or mangy wolves, ladies men smell fear, which means any bubbling, escaped emotion won’t help you win aforementioned game. Remaining aloof and mysterious gives you the best chance of staying in control of the situation and, is consequently the measure of how well you’re handling a ladies man . Lose control and you’ll find the delicate balance between nonchalance and desperado may shift, not in your favour.

Again, i urge you not to bother with the common ladies man, but if you do heed my advice or die a romantic death with bleeding heart in hand.

JLM xx

Posted by    |   October 23rd, 2016   |   No Comments

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