The tricky thing is, men and a relationship have the ability to build you up or tear you down no matter where you are in your life. Get into a good one and you potentially flourish. Pick a rotten egg and you can end up writhing around in your own vomit. This is not to say that it’s all chance and you can’t avoid the bad with a little foresight and a lot of honesty.
Let’s go to a trusty Sex & The City example for clarity. Carrie Bradshaw is at the peak of her career, having just published her first book she’s classified as a contemporary man whisperer in New York city off the back of her success. She meets Alexander Pe-artsyfarty and in a leap of faith, follows her heart and moves to Paris for him. Petrovsky goes from strength to strength while Carrie grows lonely and risks losing herself as she walks in the shadow (of his light installations). When their relationship falls apart so too does Carrie. She’s lost her mojo, pizazz, sparkle and everything that makes her Carrie Bradshaw. The thing is, if this can happen to Carrie (of all people!) then it can happen to all of us. You can’t always predict what will happen, or, avoid all mistakes but you can intend to insure yourself BEFORE it does. And by insure, I mean insure your heart – just like you would your home and contents.
Without trying to navigate the scary fine print this means, to the best of your ability get to where YOU want to get in your life. Get right in your career, or at least on some sort of (right) track, imagine what shape your future family tree might take and know what ambitions you want to pursue with the fire of a thousand suns.
It’s easier said than done, but avoiding making any drastic changes to your life for your partner that will not nourish you in some way with ward of future messiness. You need to be a happy and balanced human before you can hope to contribute positively to a relationship and to the rest of the world. Don’t remove every single aspect of your life that you thrive on and expect to be okay. Of course, relationships and love are about compromises, but that’s compromise not complete sacrifice without reciprocation of any sort.
Without making the effort to really direct yourself and consistently maintain your own personal happiness you run the risk of beginning to resent your relationship for the possibility that it may just jeopardise your own light installation exhibition/fashion show/welding project or speech pathology program.
This is why it’s so important that before you choose who to walk through life with, you have an idea of the path you want to walk.
Always be smart with your heart,
Posted by jlm | March 7th, 2016 | No Comments