Just because you’re tucked away in the comfort of a relationship doesn’t mean that summer loving needs to stop, nor should you stop celebrating holiday bliss.
The grind of our fast paced, high stress lifestyles easily grates on our energy, character and consequently can have a negative effect on relationships. It’s easy to feel so stressed that you can’t be your usual, carefree self. Romance, passion and sexual expression can take a backseat to deadlines, work anxiety and the pressure of getting the bills paid.
Holidays as a couple can be either a disaster of bickering, hangovers and hangry tempers or an adventure full of shared experiences that become great memories, wonderful laughs and gorgeous photos that eventually strengthen your bond. There’s a fine line between both scenarios occurring and honestly speaking it usually that has less to do with your personalities and more to do with the circumstances of the holiday (and how each of you deal with them).
How do you make sure your holiday is a scene from an exotic (and erotic) love film, and doesn’t fall flat into sharing lunch at a hotel restaurant while you send S.O.S texts to your friends and avoid talking to your partner.
Here’s my top tips for embarking on a successful lovescapade:
1. Plan – It might seem obvious but it’s a good idea to plan a trip that appeals to both of your needs and wants (or you can successfully compromise around them). Organising a skiiing trip for the girl who lives in denim cut offs and shivers when the weather is below 20 degrees celcius will not make her happy, and if she doesn’t enjoy drinking endless cups of hot chocolate spiked with schnapps all day while waiting for you to finish being a snow bunny she may try to stab you with an icicle.
2. Don’t risk your comfort (or life) by not booking accommodation ahead of time – graaaaaave error and grounds for world war 3
3. Sex it up – ummm a dirty weekend away is called that for a reason (and it doesn’t involve dirt). Make sure you pack lingerie, lube, massage oil and your favourite selection handcuffs, candles, swings, whips.. whatever floats your boat. Holidays are the time to get adventurous inside and, outside the bedroom and being relaxed prompts a new openness for many couples.
4. Unwin(e)d – remember that it does actually take time to unwind from all the stresses of reality. Getting on a plane is not a secret tunnel to zen and, if you face more than a few hours of travel/transit you won’t automatically be in holiday mode as soon as you arrive at your destination. Be kind to yourself (and each other) and allow yourself time to unwind organically.
5. Pack (your) essentials – if you’re going on a trip in which love and romance is one of the key factors you’ll want to feel insatiable. Often its hard to glam up away from home because you’re devoid of your creature comforts; hairdryer, beautician, wardrobe selection or 48 palette eyeshadow to help you get dolled up. Take what you need to feel amazing, despite the implications of practicality. I always take perfume when I travel because it adds that certain je ne sais pas to every outfit, even if you’ve worn it 13 times over 2 days already.
6. Research – having a vague understanding of the types of restaurants/entertainment/bars located in and around the area you’re holiday making in will lessen the chances of either of you getting hangry and will maximise romantic opportunity when you’re not struck with the indecision of what to eat.
7. Take photos – memories tend to crystallize through visual reminders. Photos offer a momento of milestone moments.
8. Back up plan – do take things to keep you occupied if your plans go awry, or if you need to spend time by yourself. this means you won’t be miserable being stuck inside for a day, or waiting for your partner to wake up. Having a book, camera, board game handy can help ward off unwanted boredom and prevent unnecessary bickering.
9. Alone time – remember that its always okay to have alone time on a holiday and it’s (still) particularly critical if you need a lot of it in day to day life. Popping out for a pedicure, shopping or a massage is a perfect little escape to help nourish your soul through solidarity whilst keeping the romance alive on a holiday.
Holiday with care,