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Master of Seduction

Happy Valentines Day!

It’s my pleasure to present you with a post for my absolute favourite day of the year, Valentines Day! And what better day for it to fall on than JLM ‘s very own, Tuesday.

Valentine’s Day is all about celebrating love, regardless of the way you see it. If to you, love is bullshit then you’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day by dragging your mopey ass through it, and singeing your hair on your candle wax voodoo doll of your ex whilst you clutch a bottle of vodka. If Valentine’s Day is a tokenistic sign of romance, which inside you’re kind of dying for but are too afraid to admit to your negligent other half then V-Day will probably only give you a bitter taste in your mouth and a hatred for red.

If you love Valentine’s Day because it’s such an amazing opportunity to drink fancy AF cocktails with your hot friends then i’m betting you’ll have a lovely day. You’ll probably even get laid.

As with anything in life, Valentine’s Day is what you make it.

That said, why shouldn’t we endeavour to make everything in life as sexy, juicy and downright celebratory as possible? This Valentine’s Day I’ve combined the world’s two most explored, implored and avidly devoured loves; Food and Sex.

Here’s my ideas for seducing yourself on the most noteable Tuesday on the calendar this year:

Californi-cate Roll

Difficulty Level: Easy

Ever wondered why dishes at Japanese restaurants are often called lover? Now you know. Turn yourself into a sushi platter à la Samantha in Sex & the City with the ancient Japanese practice, Nyotamori, or Flash Sushi. You may need to accost a friend to help you ‘get in position’ as the platter  but, you simply buy (or make) sushi and place decoratively over your body. Don’t forget to use the soy sauce and wasabi (with caution)!

Fruit Bowl Me

Difficulty Level: Easy

Ever heard the expression “God gave us fingers for a reason” as an an excuse to feast with the hands? Why stop there? Crockery can also be replaced by body parts! Use the body as a fruit bowl by tipping chopped up fruit in/on/over it. Remove with tongue. Tuity Fruity!

DIY Chocolate Dipped strawberries ft. choc (body) paint à la JLM

Difficulty Level: Easy

For further options see here. Personally I like Version 3, ‘For the Creative at Heart’ which also features the option to take home chocolate love artwork.

Make me your scone

Difficulty Level: Easy  

Just when we thought that scones were relegated to old age and afternoon tea time, they’ve made a seductive comeback. Choose your scone fillings, my suggestions are jam and cream (non-negotiable) sultanas and maybe even dried fruit and/or chocolate chips. Build your scone however you please, dive in and get creamy!

Sexy Cluedo

Difficulty level: Medium (but imagination necessary)

Grab  your run of the mill Cluedo board game and get creative. Change the weapons to sexual positions, enforce a costume dress code in appropriate attire of your character, roll the dice and go wild. Add props to each room, like “Must use Cauliflower in Library” for extra eroticism.

Oy-rest-er 

Difficulty level: Hard

Tie your partner up, blind-fold them and drip feed them champagne and oysters alternately. Get creative with textures and temperatures; champagne ice cubes? I think so.

Sip on me – Lavish Bubble Bath 

Difficulty level: Hard (also lush x 1000)  

Find a free standing bath tub (preferably one of those elegant AF ones with the animal feet features) and fill it with champagne. Throw in your beloved, pull out your gold straw and have a sip.

Happy Valentines Day to all types of lovers, in which ever way you choose to love.

JLM xx

Posted by    |   February 13th, 2017   |   No Comments

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