Passive Aggressive – The Short Fat Kid of Anger
- of or denoting a type of behaviour or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation.
Aka. The short, fat kid of anger.
In an era where we can’t determine our needs from our wants without a psychology session, where indecision is a given, and self awareness is truly lacking, passive aggressive behaviour is becoming dominant in our artillery of defence, particularly with the opposite sex.
Why? Because we’re scared to be direct.
Passive aggressive behaviour ranges from the silent treatment to intentional ostracizing to offering backhanded or disingenuous compliments to someone that you’re jealous of, and, unfortunately we all (regardless of our gender) are guilty of it from time to time. The circumstances that encourage us to default to ‘passive aggression’ range from 1 to 1879 billion. Shit goes wrong, feelings get hurt and intentions are misunderstood.
However, passive aggression slinks into the arena for one main reason:
Something is happening/has happened that we do not like or agree with, and, more importantly we are too scared to directly communicate how it makes us feel.
We’re faced with a diverse range of uncontrollable situations throughout our lives and it’s how you deal with these circumstances that really tests and shapes your character. The trick is to remember that we can’t control everything in life, but we can control the way we react.
If a reaction is instantaneous and even involuntarily to a physical degree (throwing up, sweating, feeling nauseous) then there’s a good chance it’s a pure emotional reaction (more on emotional reactions later) which adds even more fuel to the passive aggressive bonfire.
Passive aggressive behaviour gets further aggravated and destructive when we cannot communicate effectively and honestly; either because we’re fearful of the response, or that our feelings are invalid.
Falling prey to being passive aggressive is really easy but by developing greater self awareness and defining your values you can make make an effort to curb it. I’m making a concerted effort to be more articulate and openly communicative with the people in my life, thus minimising passive aggressive behaviour (because it sucks!) and I hope you’re now encouraged to do the same.
Yours in zero agression,
Posted by jlm | June 19th, 2016 | No Comments