State of Undress

How to seduce before you undress…

So, you’ve met someone who makes your heart skip a beat and you’re anxious about how to impress when you undress. You feel yourself sliding into that blissful haze of lust that unfurls in your chest like a slow burning lamp. It might a few dates in, one date in or one hundred dates in but sexual tension is palpable, and so is your growing awareness of the fact that you’re about to get naked and tangled up in the sheets with your new found love.

It might be true that by this point in time presentation may not matter anymore, but, as human beings we’re inclined to the think that the superficial does sway destiny when there’s sexual chemistry at stake.

With this in mind…what should we wear when really, it’s inevitable that nobody will be wearing anything at all very soon?

My Advice: Aim for nonchalance at all times

When it’s epitomised as a style, nonchalance is about looking effortlessly gorgeous. It’s about exuding enough raw beauty and genuine grace to only need accentuating with a sheer gloss.  The basic aim is to be a well pulled together, somewhat polished version of yourself.

Never make the mistake of not making any effort, even if you KNOW watching DVD’s is a euphemism for getting horizontally intertwined on a fur rug on the floor. Even if you’re going to someone’s house to have a home cooked meal, make effort. If you make none, you can’t expect any to be made for you in return. Our senses gather psychological data to provide a foundation for perception which means that you essentially have the opportunity to engage and seduce on 5 unique levels.

There are five senses: sight, sound, touch, taste and smell and the more you cleverly manipulate them  the more memorable you become. Use them.

Scent is an imperative gateway to opening the senses and tantilizing sexually. Olfactory is oft forgotten, particularly when sex is such a visually carnal experience. Scent is a sweet shortcut to seduction.. just think about the way delicious food makes your stomach twist in delight and imagine the sexual equivalent with perfume, candles and massage oil.

Sight – Looking good enough to eat is an obvious precursor to the initiation of any foreplay, we are visually insatiable beasts after all. I have lots of (women) asking me about their lingerie choices when they first sleep with someone new, all i can say is: less is more. That doesn’t mean no effort, it just means keep it simple. Does it have to match? Nope? Does it have to be silky and elaborate? No! Something that makes you feel (tactile) and feel (confidence) incredible is a far better option that a garter belt, stockings and frills. My favourite: Simple lace. Black is never a bad choice.

Touch – All I can say is moisturise! Nothing feels as good as beautiful, silky skin under your fingertips. Sure, an array of textures (leather, lace, satin, silk or cashmere) can be gorgeous too but skin is endless and always honest. Look after it.

Taste – It goes without saying, personal hygiene isn’t just for chumps. Anything lickable should be delectable, or at least minty fresh and smelling pretty.

Hearing – To up the ante in seduction turn down the volume of anything abrasive or intrusive and be comfortable in silence, it heightens other sensations and allows you to listen to someone elses needs and desires. Of course music is also a weapon of mass seduction; just make sure its sultury, soothing or sumptuous.

To really mix things up you can purposely detract the reliance on one sense to heighten the others….Pick one and subtract it from the mix. Doing so will immediately heighten the dependence on other senses.

Yours in all 5 senses, always,


Posted by    |   June 6th, 2016   |   No Comments

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