In all relationships there is A Rose and there is A Gardener. Two distinguishable roles that each become half of the partnership.
These roles can be interchangeable, shift, evolve and swap but it happens slowly. You can’t flip a switch and instantly sprout petals or a green thumb. If you are The Rose in one relationship it doesn’t mean that you will be The Rose in every relationship. The dynamics between two unique characters are highly likely to vary wildy in each relationship.
Imagine a garden.
In the garden there’s a mix of flora; leafy ferns, lush evergreens and perhaps a little patch of herbs. Amongst all of the colours and textures is a gorgeous, fragrant rose. The gardener who tends this patch is meticulous in his care. His green thumb sees him diligently nurturing them all, but he has a soft spot for the resplendent rose.
For the purpose of this article I’ve used she for a rose and he for the gardener but only because linguistically it flows well. Please don’t let this mislead you to believe that men are always Gardeners and women Roses. In fact, I probably know many more florally inclined men than women.
Intoxicating and charming, the rose blooms and captivates those around it with its beauty and unwavering self-confidence. The rose requires plenty of adoration, attention and emotional reinforcement to maintain its blissful state. Tending to the rose can be challenging and demanding which is why it takes the right gardener to both nurture and, when necessary, ground her. One of the key characteristics of a rose is the ingrained belief that their presence (real or metaphorical) is enough in any given situation. The combination of their unique character and beauty is inwardly perceived as enough effort.
When the rose turns towards her gardener and blooms, her love is felt in full effect. The sun shines, the world works, pleasure is palpable.
The primary role of the Gardener is the caretaker, not only of the rose but as the guardian of the relationship. The Gardener takes pride in the way that the rose ‘blossoms’; it’s appearance, charm and accomplishments. This is because for the most part it is a by-product of his nurturing. Generally more practical by nature, the Gardener fertilises the relationship and ensures the fundamental elements that make it tick are kept in tact; communication, loyalty, romance, unity.
The Gardener approaches most things with an open heart and open hands. He is willing to apply effort to get what he wants and knows that a relationship, like most things in life requires nourishing, diligence and commitment.
As with everything in life, our greatest assets are also our biggest weaknesses which is why the gardener’s perfectionist tendencies can also be his downfall. His inherent love for organisation and attention to detail can mean that it can be difficult for him to be cared for.
It’s important to note that neither role is more important, challenging or demanding than the other (although at sometimes it may seem like it). In reality a relationship cannot work with the absence of either.
You cannot have 2 gardeners, nor 2 roses.
Whether you’re the rose of the gardener at the moment always love generously and responsibly.
JLM x x