In the modern era of 2016, it ain’t cheap to be alive; it’s cheaper to buy booze than a coffee, mortgages span a lifetime and the temptation to sell your cat for groceries is remarkably high. If living costs are so exorbitant should those of us in relationships default to cohabitating? Or should we make more measured decisions around jumping with both feet into combining living with loving?

Of course the argument remains that if you are meant to be with someone then living with them at any stage of the game shouldn’t make or break the bond you have. Back in reality where subjective issues matter; like money, personal hygiene, sleeping patterns and interior decorating taste you’ve gotta seriously get it right otherwise you run the risk of going to gaol for manslaughter after you smother your loved one in their sleep for eating the rest of your pre-cut celery sticks without asking.

There’s plenty of disadvantages and advantages of living with your lover and every situation and partnership is wildly different. For the record I’ve done both.

In most relationships there usually comes a time when the issue of living together unravels naturally. You’re spending 6 nights out of 7 tucked into one another’s beds, or your lease is up, or it seems like an intelligent financial decision (you’ve already sold the cat for groceries) to combine household goods. In some ways making the decision not co-habitate seems odd, or like it goes against the grain, but for some couples it’s the only way they can maintain their sanity, independence and ultimately preserve their relationship.

Each couple is unique in their approach to the issue of real estate; some wish they had never moved in with their partner before they got married, others waited only weeks and never looked back and then there’s those few who waited for the ring before they shared a set of keys.

There’s a long list of pros & cons to both scenarios, here’s just a few:

• It’s always nice to go home to someone you love
• Rent becomes slightly more affordable
• Living together can help cement the bond of a relationship
• You always have a pal to adventure with
• Grocery shopping, furniture shopping and doing laundry can become an adventure rather than a chore
• Easy access to spooning, and sex
• Dinner parties
• You always have someone to tell you if an outfit looks good or not
• If anything breaks you always have someone to help you fix it
• You have to share your space with someone all the time, in cities like Sydney where shoe box sized apartments prevail this can be claustrophobic
• Sharing a bathroom with the opposite sex is never really an exciting prospect
• You can’t escape if you have a fight
• Sharing wardrobe space isn’t actually a realistic logistical arrangement for a lot of women
• Washing anything other than your own clothes makes you feel like a house wife
• Domesticity can stifle romance
• There are zero surprises in the relationship anymore, and lets face it ‘uncertainty is the essence of romance’
• SSB is no longer secret (Secret Single Behaviour) everyone has things they do in private which they would never want their lover to experience; personal I pick blackheads – not hot!
• No girl wants their lover to witness them doing the normal things they do to be beautiful; waxing, plucking, tanning, etc etc
• Beautiful lingerie becomes redundant
• When you’re naked in front of someone and they don’t even look up for their game of Pokémon Go its not so pleasant for your self esteem
• Showers are often invaded by the foreign body of someone else (which on the flipside, can be really nice)
• Sharing bedding with someone is difficult when you have very different body temperatures (and sizes)
• Going to sleep and waking up with someone you love is always a pleasure.

Yours in broken crockery and melted candles

JLM X