In a time when strict lockout laws limit face to face flirtations and the healthy body, healthy mind is dominating the psyche of the young (and single) demographic could it be easier just to head to the local supermarket to pick up between grabbing your eggs and veg?
Is it possible that Coles is the new meat market of 2016?
Below are my favourite tips and tricks to meat (haha) your next date whilst you’re reaching for the mixed nuts.
- Observation is always, always key. Match your groceries to the groceries of someone with a similar lifestyle. For example – a trolley full of nappies probably indicates a newborn, a trolley full of palates of anything means they own an Asian restaurant or are hiding a refugee family
- Remember – you are what you eat and you have the unique opportunity to outwardly shape your persona by carefully selecting the items you put in your basket. Use it wisely and allow it to be your blissful slice of
apple pie insight too.
- Following someone with a bunch of grubby, misshapen veggies and a stack of tofu in their basket? You’re looking at a real life Vegan – pursue with caution; and only if you’re okay committing to a life without cheese and passion filled guilt trips about animal products.
- Bananas in your trolley facing up is the supermarket version of writing DTF on your Tinder profile. True story.
- Dates mean you’re single and know that chivalry isn’t a breed of horse. Romantics apply within.
- If you’re looking for an indicator of sexual appetite you really can’t go past a few packets of Durex in the trolley can you?!
- Two or more packets of liquorice straps mean that you’re into fetish play
- Find sausages over near the pepperoni sticks at the butcher.
- Too many bottles of Gatorade or frozen pizzas can only mean one thing; Gamer.
- Steer clear of men with too many packets of tea, cat biscuits, candles – good chance they’re married, taken or have been suitably hypnotized
- Pairs of yogurt hung over the side of the trolley is the equivalent of throwing your keys on a table at a party – down for swinging.
- Suggestive glances over the mung beans are great but remember your basic body language rules; mirroring behaviour helps increase familiarity and comfort. Reaching for the cherries, imitate, following them to their car – perhaps not recommended.
Always pick your groceries and your date with with suitable intention.